Sweltering

The old man looked at me
And talked about the timeless adage
About having fire in your eyes, and he said
"You kid, your eyes are just burning."
And then I woke up
And my irises were sweltering
But I shook my head
"No," I said,
"You’re wrong. I don’t have bad dreams
And I don’t talk in my sleep
That is for people
Who give all their secrets away
Willingly."

He told me I was wrong
That he was there the night she came in
Stumbling up the stairs
Talking about lovers who never loved her
And he heard my cries from the sleeping world
Because while not awake, I knew

He was there the night
I tossed and turned from missing you
And I reached out grasping
And I could not find your hand
So I picked up a pen
And I wrote quickly
All the things
We never
Got
To
Say

And I said, "No,
That is for people that give all their secrets away."
"There is fire in your eyes."
Yes;
I am burning
Cold skin,
Warm heart
"I know," I said.
I know.

Poetic Snippets

***

You asked if college was beating the creativity out of me
"Is that the reason you don't write poetry anymore?"
No, mama,
I still like the sun on my skin
I still get romantic ideas about strangers,
The kind with coffee in hand and wearing interesting clothing
I am still forgiving towards the universe.
I still miss home.
And I still miss you

***

I am not made for books and studying.
I like hiding under covers with Nicole and talking about Galileo, never knowing what he actually did.

***

Happiness is not a mat that sits on my doorway.
It's home.
It's moving.
It's comfort in silence.
And laughter in noise.

***

I like that you smile
When you cry.
I like that in every single cell that is inside my body, and every cavern through which my blood flows you are there.
And I can feel you;
Science never could explain that

Rant Poem 3

I wrote this when I was at school and feeling lonely and homesick. As with all of my other "rants" no attention is paid to rhyme or meter.

***

I Miss

I miss people who get me.
Who understand that I cry all the time and that an hour later I am silly, and passionate, and ready to laugh until I choke.
I miss people who overlook the dirt on my feet when I have been walking barefoot and sweaty for most of the day, and who it might even remind of good times.
I miss people who do not care about appearances
And who are not competitive over grades
Or futures
And just want now
I miss people who treat me the same when I have put makeup on and straightened my hair
Or just rolled out of bed greasy and tired.
And perhaps do not notice the difference
I miss people who deserve me at my best because they have loved me at my worst.
That understand that try as I may, I wear my emotions on my sleeve
Who know that if I’m sad, I’m sad
If I’m angry, I’m angry
If I’m frustrated, I’m frustrated
But know that if I love them, I love them.

I want someone to want me even though when I get talking about politics I get out of hand and rant for half an hours at a time
And simply nod and say
“Yeah, baby, I know, I know what you mean.” And I’d like it if they really did sometimes.
I miss phone calls because summer songs are on the radio
And late night conversations
And late night walks
I am trying
I try
And I try
But I am no good at
Being alone